Years ago “Keepin’ It Real,” was a phrase that rap artists and diehard rap fans used ad naseum. By saying this phrase the speaker indicated that he would never forget where he came from—the streets. Similarly many women are underearners because they believe that it would be disloyal to leave their friends and family behind—financially. These women mistakenly believe that stagnation equals authenicity.
Underearning women are extremely uncomfortable with the idea of making more money than their parents, siblings, friends and spouses.
In their minds to do so is to abandon their community—to move beyond their station in life. They’re fearful of being criticized for daring to achieve more than their peers. They’re afraid that having more money would cause their long-term relationships to end and then they’d be alone. Rather than face their fears, instead they sabotage their own financial advancement.
Within Hip Hop debates raged about whether artists like Jay-Z, a multi-millionaire living in a Tribeca penthouse, could remain authentic. Jay-Z, while never shying away from his hustler origins in the Marcy Houses, nonetheless created an entertainment empire. He also matured as a man. On his single, On To the Next One he raps, “Used to rock a throw back [jersey] ballin’ on the corner. Now I rock a tailored suit looking like an owner.” Moreover he’s appeared on mainstream television such as Charlie Rose and Oprah and even garnered an invitation to President Obama’s inauguration.
In comparison, most of the “keep it real” purists are still broke and in the ‘hood. Jay-Z and other successful people know that authenticity is about embracing your past as you step into your future. To move from being an underearner to high income earner, you have to use your personal history to ground you as you propel forward. You have to declare your authenticity as it relates to you, not to your social circle.
When you’re being authentic you’ll know when your salary is too low for your financial well-being and you’ll take actions to make earn more money.
You’ll also be comfortable in your own skin (whatever color and shape it is), knowing that you are worthy of more and better. When you’re being authentic, you’ll know that everyone is not going to agree with your decisions or your life path. However you’re clear that it’s your journey and your choices to make. In thinking about authenticity I’m drawn to the definition that I found in the book Style Statement: Life By Your Own Design. This book was my introduction to Danielle LaPorte, a brillant, unconventional business strategist. In this thought-provoking book the reader’s style preferences are gauged as a way to identify core values, beliefs and desires. According to Style Statement:
There is no wrong or right way to be yourself. The basis of authenticity is acceptance. Authenticity has many interpretations. Sometimes being real means being true to our heritage. Sometimes it means being true in your current circumstances. Most often, authenticity is simply what feels right. Even if we have repeatedly repressed or neglected the truest aspect of our being…It’s never too late to become the real you.
Some things to ponder…..
Isn’t it possible that a relationship/friendship will end even if you don’t increase your income?
Has being an underearner REALLY made you criticism-proof?
More income gives you the opportunity to expand your social circle.
Money won’t change you, your basic character, it simply allows you to express more of who you already are.
P.S. I’d love you to help your audience, women’s organization or your group of friends become financially authentic. Here’s how you can hire me to speak at your event.
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Photo Credit: ©sammie
